Dear Stupid Idiots,
With all due respect, you’re a bunch of window-licking, Elmer’s-glue-sniffing, cigarette-butt-eating, bowl-cut, leotard-wearing, gutter-bathing, dumpster-dining, gap-toothed, back-waxing, double-cross-eyed, public-pool-drinking, bunion-footed, root-beer-bellied, zit-popping, incontinent, knuckle-dragging, unreasonable elitists with fart-mustaches.
…But let me tell you how I really feel.
For the life of me, I don’t know why the University of Central Florida’s football team was not unanimously ranked number one in the final AP poll, after having gone undefeated and beaten Auburn in a NY6 bowl game, remaining the only undefeated team in Division I football. (To the four out of 61 who did, please disregard my opening statement.