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Help! My Blogsite Is Trying To Trade Me!

Please help me.

The leaders of the blogsite you’re reading right now have offered to trade myself and Sam Newberry to Mid-Major Madness for two of their writers.

The leaders shall not be named, so instead I’ll use completely anonymous names and call them Cobert and Rhris for the remainder of this article.

Please help me.

This isn’t the first time Cobert and Rhris haver offered me up for mid-major writers. They did the same thing back in February during the throes of the college basketball season, seemingly forgetting that I was reporting live from the sidelines of downtown Omaha, completely throwing my career in jeopardy!