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Brad Pennington, 1993 Upper Deck #437

Whoops. Dexter Fowler won't be an Oriole, and nobody is really sure what happened. Instead of wringing our hands over what could have been, I will move forward by convincing myself you that we are better off in Baltimore without Fowler. To wit:

1. His birthday is March 22. Do you know who else was born on that day? Wackadoo Christian televangelist Pat Robertson. Pretty suspicious company.

2. He'll be 30 next month. He's practically got one foot in the grave, athletically speaking. Why, he's only two and a half years younger than Nolan Reimold.