Let’s go ahead and get it out of the way. Yes, Josef Martinez did actually say “If my mom had wheels, she’d be a bicycle” in a post-match interview. Admittedly, it was initially a rather confusing but light-hearted reference to the obvious conversation about goal-scoring and how it would be entirely different if Atlanta United were, in fact, scoring goals and winning matches. We’ve all now been blessed to add that idiom to the repertoire of outstanding quotes.
Unfortunately, nothing changes the fact that Atlanta didn’t win Wednesday evening against the New York Red Bulls.