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Atlanta Braves’ Adonis Garcia is My Homeboy

Adonis Garcia might be my favorite member of the current Atlanta Braves.

His skill is not commensurate with my admiration. Garcia is an undersized masher, a modern-day Matt Stairs if Stairs was right-handed, hadn’t broken into the big leagues until he was 30 years old and fudged his height (if Adonis is 5-9, I’m 7-2).

An eight-year old behind the wheel of a Maserati would be less adventurous than Garcia when he mans third base for the Braves, and his walk-rate is so soul-crushingly distressing that he makes Jeff Francoeur look patient by comparison.