Given that it was Kentucky Derby day today, I kind of wanted to give this one an equine theme, or at least do the recap in a sort of horse-race coverage mode. I honestly don’t think I have the energy, and I don’t think it would really be sustainable anyway, especially given that I don’t have any sort of competent command or understanding of horse-racing lingo and terminology. But what the hell, enough horsing around. I put it out there, I guess I better try and pony up, right?
So.
DING! and we’re off and running the snakes aren’t looking great out of the gate I mean what can you expect because it’s a horse race and they’re snakes and so they don’t have legs so really all things considered they’re not doing so badly two of them struck out against the Aaron Nola serpent in the top of the first but Marte got on by walking with one out which when you think about it is also weird because again snakes don’t have legs but nevertheless he walked but sadly he was left standing at first base because Pavin Smith and Josh Naylor couldn’t advance him at all and now Brandon Pfaadt is coming onto the mound and while he’s not exactly a racehorse and really more a thoroughbred and maybe a quarterhouse or a Clydesdale but without the shaggy mane and hoof mane things but maybe that’s what we need right because conditions at the track are muddy and there’s rain in the forecast and look he’s setting a solid pace for the first length at least by striking out the side which is what snakes do especially poisonous snakes they strike and he struck despite a one-out single to left by Trey Turner we come to the first turn with our quarterhorse and their gimpy thoroughbred neck and neck at zero apiece aaaand.