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Arizona Diamondbacks 4, Pittsburgh Pirates 2: Clash of the... Titans?

Official paid attendance numbers per the box score were 9,173, but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say there were no more than 4,500 in person at Chase Field. If you’re one of those few, watched it on the tele, listened on the radio, or just followed along on the GDT pat yourself on the back. It takes true dedication to willingly watch two of the worst teams in baseball at the moment. Oh, me? I’m just here because I messed up and couldn’t get Wednesday off work.

We might just fissure the world in half, Clue.