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Jumbo Package: Pumping New Life Into Coleman Coliseum Edition

Ladies and gentlemen, please say hello to students attending basketball games. No, you've never actually seen them, because the Red Coats are too busy hoarding free crap, the good seats, and taking up valuable space from those who actually want to impact the game.

There is absolutely no doubt where I stand on the superannuated, entitled class who buy Alabama basketball tickets for the sole purpose of accruing Tide Pride football points and being general buzzkills. They are history's worst monsters, to be honest. Once this acrimonious, unfun bunch arrive at Coleman they sit on their hands, take up great seats and yell at Methuselah to get his young whipper-snapper butt out of their way.