We Have to Wait How Long Before Alabama Plays Football Again!?!?!

It seems like forever and a day before Alabama plays the fooseball again.  All 'Bama fans hope the wait will be extended to January 9th in New Orleans versus LSU.  The only problem is by the time this game actually takes place, so much of our lives will have passed us by.

Here's a list of facts as well as events that will take place between now and the time Alabama and LSU hook up for the Game of the Century Part Deux in the Mercedes-Benz Superdome.

Feel free to tweet your list to me at @EricFromSpfld or email it to ericfromspringfield@charter.net.

-Highly touted high school quarterback Gunner Kiel begins his Sophomore year at Notre Dame.

[caption id="attachment_343" align="alignleft" width="300" caption="Platoon star, Charlie Sheen. "][/caption]

-Charlie Sheen's "Winning" catchphrase finishes in a tie for first with Gary Coleman's "Whatchoo Talkin' About" in the all-new Coolest Things Ever Said Hall of Fame, coincidentally located in New Orleans, Louisiana.  Side note: Everything Les Miles has ever said was ranked second through 500.

 

[caption id="attachment_344" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Lots of cool dudes in this pic. Check out ol' Todd Helton over there in the No. 2 jersey. Oh, and there's Manning and Cutcliffe."][/caption]

-Ole Miss fires Peyton Manning as head coach because he wins eight games per season, but it's just not good enough.  David Cutcliffe hugs Manning and repeatedly tells him, "It's not your fault," until Manning finally breaks down and cries really hard.

-Dan Wetzel does an investigation of the Jim Rome Show and reveals that Rome actually has never left the studio.  The time between the last word spoken at 3:00 P.M. EST one day and the first word at 12:00 P.M. the following day is actually just a long pause of dead air.

[caption id="attachment_345" align="alignright" width="200" caption="Verne loves Calvin D's. The extra long cheese coneys are the best. "][/caption]

-Verne Lundquist went to Captain D's and promptly ordered two extra long cheese coneys. Because Verne gets what Verne wants, the 'D's got it done.

-Betty White celebrated her 100th birthday with the cast and crew of Golden Girls. She and two former stagehands had a blast. What? Oh.  Make that one former stagehand.

-The NBA started playing basketball again.  Is this true?  When did they stop playing? OK.  Great.  Can't wait for the playoffs.

-Derek Dooley gets his first signature win against Missouri.  He's carried off the field and to the parking lot where he's fired.  He's asked to hand over his headset to Chris Peterson.  Barbara Dooley hugs Derek and continuously tells him, "It's not your fault.  It's not your fault."  Derek takes off his orange pants and the most awkward mother-son hug in SEC history commences.

 

[caption id="attachment_346" align="alignleft" width="193" caption="Dr. Loooooouuu, Dr. Loooouuu."][/caption]

-Lou Holtz and Beano Cook share a Notre Dame Snuggie on a billboard in South Bend and vow not to come down until the Fighting Irish return to a BCS bowl. Both Beano and Lou expect to die up there.

-Urban Myer retired twice, quit once, and watched his daughter play five volleyball games. Tim Tebow hugged Urban and repeatedly told him, "It's not your fault.  It's not your fault."  Urb rubbed Tebow's ear.  Tebow rubbed the nape of Urb's neck.  **Vomits**

-Dale Murphy is finally elected to the Major League Baseball Hall of Fame.  His speech is almost as good as the one Pete Rose gave just twenty minutes earlier.

-Trent Richardson saw Auburn defensive back Niko Thorpe at McDonald's and slapped him upside the head and took his spot in line.  Twice.

[caption id="attachment_347" align="alignright" width="175" caption="A very underrated champion who had long sideburns, his hair slicked back, and loved to do your town in his pink cadillac. "][/caption]

-T. Boone Pickens buys the BCS.  Oklahoma State is deemed the 2011 BCS Intercontinental Champion.

-Clay Travis and Sports By Brooks write a total of 28 stories questioning the validity behind the claims that at least four Alabama players read at least 26 books over one summer for a elementary school summer reading program.  Clay questions the players' raisin' and upbringin' while Brooks just smiles for anything that resembles a camera.

That is all for now.  Bring your best and we'll revisit this as we get closer to The Rematch that will take place sometime between now and the Masters.

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