Have you ever been real mad at something because everyone else in the room was angry and you just enjoyed feeling like you were part of the in-crowd? You really have no idea what the issue is, but by golly, you're not going to stand for it. Yeah, me too. Mostly when I was in elementary school.
[caption id="attachment_808" align="alignright" width="254" caption="Charlene got a little too dirty at the Super Bowl. Thank goodness The Judds taught us that, "Love Can Build a Todd Bridges.""]
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Somewhere between here and Janet Jackson's 1.2 seconds of visible breast on television, America became very offended at stuff. I'm not sure why everyone is so angry, but people love being offended.
Maybe it all started when Dan Quayle was mad at Murphy Brown for being pregnant out of wedlock in the early '90s. Or maybe it was when he spelled potato with an "e." I don't know, but it is extremely exhausting.
By the way, Murphy Brown was not a real person. She was a television character. Ever notice how much stock we put in television characters and what they do? Or better yet, a simple ol' football coach?
[caption id="attachment_809" align="alignleft" width="196" caption="This guy is destroying the nuclear family. He is sexist. Wait a minute. The Fonze was a womanizing guy too. Check the thumb and the mouth. He's saying 'Heeeeeeey." Coincidence? No way!"]
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It's funny. The same dorks that are mad that a college football coach makes more than a million dollars a year because they are "just coaching football" are the same dorks that believe a coach's tongue-in-cheek comments on a radio show could possibly tear and destroy the very fabric that holds our families together.
What did Franklin say? What was the response? Here, take a look at the following stories and see for yourself.
Gail Kerr of the Tennessean -- where everyday matters, but no one cares enough to read about it in their paper -- gives her two cents and proves that giving your opinion after reading one quote from a 20-minute radio interview can make you sound completely lost and out of touch. Lucky for Gail, no one knows the Tennessean is still in circulation.
In all fairness, I'm just proud the Tennessean continues to gives an actual employee of its own paper to have a byline and not some guy working for the AP. So, there's that.
This preacher guy does about the same thing as Gail, but he does what many preachers do today and takes the lazy road out. He basically makes a failed attempt at a Biblical application to the story. He wanted to write about James Franklin so bad that he just took an old lesson and attached it to the end of his opinion on Franklin's comments. Or maybe he did vice-versa. I don't know. You tell me. But hey, don't worry, Preach. I've done the same thing in my day.
And then there's this guy who supposedly writes for the Baltimore Sun. I had a hard time believing this was written by someone at the 'Sun, but apparently they ran it. He obviously dealt with James Franklin when he was at Maryland and he's finally getting an opportunity to write that negative story that he's been waiting to bang out on his Remington typewriter.
This next article is from a dude who calls James Franklin a "bro." He sounds offended by "Bro's" comments, but I have to wonder that if Bobby Johnson had made the same comments would he had called him a "bro" as well.
[caption id="attachment_810" align="alignright" width="241" caption="Wait. That's a leather couch. Never mind. Whatever he says, goes. No questions. It's in the handbook."]
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The only person that's made me scratch my head more than these writers and those who are offended at these atrocious comments is Vanderbilt's head of Intramural Sports and Vice President of Law School Stuff, David Williams. He is quoted in this USA Today article and a few other publications, but this was the most accessible. Commence to scratching thine head.
Right about the time you think Vandy had found a football coach that could erase the stink that is Vandy football, David Williams jumps on the radio and pours that stank right back on Dudley Field.
"None of these things are criteria for hiring at Vanderbilt," prophesied Williams. Praise the good Lord this is true. There was a moment when I thought the Dean of Russian History Studies was given his job because his wife shaved her legs. Now I know that's not the case.
Oh, Vandy. You are so much smarter than the rest of the SEC. Good for you. Keep cashing that check that Alabama, LSU, Arkansas, and Florida football have been writing. It's okay. No, no. You keep it. It's ALL OF OURS.
[caption id="attachment_812" align="alignleft" width="232" caption="If this guy is in NYC, he's dead. "]
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The way some of you are acting, you'd think Franklin hopped a Southwest flight to New York City and ordered a 32-ounce soda. That is twice the legal limit, by the way. Yeah. See how stupid you're acting? These are REAL WORLD problems. Stop with your, "James Franklin is sexists." Hey! What if you had a child drinking 32-ounce sodas in New York City? Perspective.
James Franklin has become the new Bachelorette for single men. Haley Frank wrote on Clay Travis' outkickthecoverage.com that if men watch the Bachelorette, there's a chance that women would find them attractive and sleep with them.
Well, desperate men, you can change the channel back to the game. No longer do you have to endure endless episodes of a show about a woman who dates a bunch of dudes in hopes of getting a rose or not getting a rose or something like that. You can now just sit back and change your Facebook status to the following -- "That James Franklin, eh? Pssshhh. I mean, who does he think he is, right? SMH." The ladies will be LIKING your post for days. Don't believe me? Try it and PLEASE tell me how it goes. Nah, nah, man. Trust me. It'll be GREAT!
Here's an idea. Don't expect the person to change. Don't even expect the television/radio/entertainment program to change. Just change the channel or the station. As ESPN.com writer Paul Kuharsky says, "That's a YOU problem. Not a me problem."
Follow Eric on Twitter @EricFromSpfld
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