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Sifting through the wreckage of football announcer jargon

A submission from a man who goes by Bayou Frog Fan...

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Through the orgies of consumption that were Weeks 1 - 3, you briefly forgave CBS for putting Gary Danielson and his bottomless adoration for Nick Saban on the air. About now, you’ll start listening to the telecast and realize the fraud that network television perpetrates in plain sight. Let this primer serve as a beacon guiding you through the turbulent waters of truly awful college football announcing.

It all starts with…

THE KEYS TO THE GAME:

“Get off to a fast start” – The ultimate in throwaway analysis when you and Verne have been up swilling Pappy with hosts from the alumni club until 4 in the morning.