Oxford — A day after Ole Miss administrators announced a self-imposed bowl ban amid scandalous allegations and potential NCAA sanctions, the university has elected to formally terminate their high profile Bag Men.
“The primary responsibility of a Bag Man is not to get caught,” said a dejected Coach Freeze. “Obviously, based on some poor investments and some chatty Cathys, our Bag Men have gotten us into some hot water.”
Freeze continued, “It’s like they always say, ‘loose lips sink scholarships’.”
A cloud of embarrassment hung over the campus as obnoxiously dressed preppy kids came to grips that a Bag Man paid a recruit $13,000 only to have the young man sign elsewhere.