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In Light of Facemask Grab, Jimbo Fisher Should Coach Exclusively Via Emoji

Morning. In case you’ve been living in an apocalypse shelter you carved out of your ambient landscape somewhere around the third quarter of the Arkansas game when things were feeling quite dicey, you’ve been made amply aware of this:

We’re not here to take sides, because frankly, the extremes from both sides are quite boring and predictable. No, Jimbo should not be fired, and no, this video is not evidence that a millennial snowflake movement is undermining our tough nation.

We’re just here to offer solutions. How about instead of expressing emotion via physicality, Jimbo uses a medium that everyone—youthful football players, obsessive fans, and fussy media personalities alike—can agree upon?