Better late than never, folks. Let’s roll through some highlights on the serious news front.
[SETTING: a drab, modernistic corporate boardroom, somewhere deep in the bowels of a mythical ESPN bunker complex]
PROGRAMMING DIRECTOR: Wonderful work, gang! We’ve now got a terrific game lined up for two years running, featuring a pair of the most storied programs of the last several decades. Now...how can we “kick it up a notch?” [cackles healthily at his own Emeril Lagasse reference]
JUNIOR ACCOUNT EXECUTIVE KEVIN (hesitantly raises hand): We...we move these games from two of the most iconic stadiums in all of college football and instead play them at bland, corporatized public monolith stadiums nearer to urban centers in order to maximize brand visibility?