Oh, Arsenal. With your wide eyes so full of hope. With your hearts aflutter and your smiles so broad. A new epoch begins, the world seems so bright and fresh ... and then Manchester City tear you open like a bag of chips and your goalkeeper smashes one past his own far post.
Arsenal's enduring commitment to slapstick should be one of the key selling points in the Premier League's international TV rights brochure. Arms outstretched, an upturned tin of paint on their heads, they stumble blindly towards a steep flight of stairs and the world, or at least the non-Arsenal supporting world, howls with delight and taps in their credit card details for another season long subscription.