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One-Eyed Matador Again Owned By Bull, Should Have Been Shoe Salesman

Spain, that European backwater of animal torture, is known for its effeminate, leotard-clad matadors, and not much else. And my favorite among these prancing cheese-dicks has to be Juan José Padilla.

Padilla is known as The Pirate, mainly because he wears an eye patch. That’s because he lost his left eye in 2011 when a bull gored him through the chin and up into his eye socket. On Sunday he got owned again, this time being gored twice — one shot barely missing a lung — and losing his glass eye in the process. The battering he took caused the eye to pop out and fly across the ring.