Most athletes in the spotlight don't have the time, nor the sense of humor to keep massive audiences consistently entertained. Thankfully, Twitter allows just about anybody to flash their poetic licenses for the rest of the world to enjoy.
*Disclaimer: Some of these are downright offensive. Proceed at your own will.
Fake SportsCenter turns anything relevant into sarcastic Breaking News alerts, and they're hilarious.
The United Nations calls meeting to rule on if Germany will be charged with crimes of war against Brazil — Fake SportsCenter (@FakeSportsCentr)
Anybody could have seen this one coming...
Now that futbol is over we can move on to more important things like football. — Tom Brady's Ego (@TomBradysEgo) July 13, 2014
Satire is definitely funnier when it comes from the perspective of a kid (let's hope it's not a child running the account)
Aaron Hernandez is on a 3 kill streak, 2 more and he can call in a predator missile. — Play 60 Kid (@NatePlay60) May 15, 2014
Never heard of the Darren Rovell? Follow him if you want facts that are only occasionally interesting to populate your timeline. But he's also one of the easiest guys in the world to hate. In the words of Deadspin writer Drew Magary:
"He is the guy harassing you with a LinkedIn invite every five seconds. He is the guy clapping enthusiastically during the unveiling of a new Pepsi can. He is the guy rehearsing his elevator pitch in the mirror before heading out to the Holiday Inn Express breakfast buffet. He's THAT guy."
Hey Breathe Right - I put one of your nasal strips on when running 3mi. the other day. Ran my slowest time in months AND got laughed at.
— NotDarrenRovell (@NotDRovell) June 3, 2014
Sorry Peyton, it's just too easy.
SOURCES: Jimmy Graham's new contract with the Saints identifies his position as "Ball-Catcher Scorer Guy". — Peyton's Head (@PeytonsHead) July 15, 2014
You would think that a 92 minute film from 1996 would eventually run low on fuel, but Happy Gilmore will prove you wrong. He often banters back and forth with his arch-nemesis @ShooterMcGavin.
Really hoping I don't get dogged again at the NHL Draft tonight. I've been toughening up in the batting cages all year. — Happy Gilmore (@_Happy_Gilmore) June 27, 2014
Poking fun at his speech impediments is definitely not cool, but Lou Holtz has become one of the most quotable figures in college football.
I alreathy mish you collish foothball :( — Lou Holtz (@PretendLouHoltz) January 7, 2014
While some of the humor may go over the heads of non-Tigers fans, the fake Miguel Cabrera account is one of the best trolls out there. It's a must-follow for all baseball fans.
Only things worse than Michael Bradley A) Brandon Inge B) Jose Valverde C) sobriety D) all of the above — Miguel Cabrera (@DrunkMiggy) July 1, 2014
This should speak for itself:
Everyone is making a big deal about LeBron's cramps last night. I get them once a month and nobody seems to care. FML x 1,000,000 ;( — Emo Chris Bosh (@EmoChrisBosh) June 6, 2014
If only the real John Madden was this funny
LeBron James is that guy in your fantasy football draft that takes the entire 1:30 to make a pick round by round. — Faux John Madden (@FauxJohnMadden) July 10, 2014
Often ruthless in his jokes:
LaLa (I mean Melo) decides to take (I mean choose) the $129M (I mean Knicks)! — Not Bill Walton (@NotBillWalton) July 12, 2014
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