Dear Ann Cannon • My husband and I have long had a contentious relationship with his parents, for which I know they blame me. Now there are grandkids around — our son and his two cousins — which provides a nice buffer to our interactions. But it also brings some new concerns! I feel like we have opposing opinions on everything about raising kids, from nutrition (the cousins eat plates full of sugar!), to religion (their grandson is going to become a godless heathen and it’s all my fault!), to politics (avoid! avoid! avoid!).
I find myself worrying ahead of when we’re going to spend time with them, imagining hypothetical situations in which they’ll do or say something with my kid that I don’t approve of and I won’t know how to intervene, as I always just try to avoid conflict.