Before we get started, note this is 100% satire and in no way an endorsement for/against Bernie Sanders or any other candidate. We came across the video of Bernie Sanders shooting hoops at the Co-Rec before or after his speech at Purdue on April 27th and want to have some off-season fun.
In a very surprising move, Purdue men's basketball coach, Matt Painter, has offered a four-year scholarship to point guard Bernard "Bernie" Sanders of Brooklyn. The 6-foot and 74-year old James Madison High School graduate was not on Painter's radar until his recent visit to Purdue earlier this week, where Painter caught him shooting some hoops and attempting to beat the press at the co-rec.