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Does the man with the golden boots have feet of clay? Cristiano Ronaldo will receive a hero's welcome at Old Trafford... but rape allegations still hang over him amid the 'second coming of Crist'

According to the scriptures, the Messiah will one day be back among us. To the masses who regard Premier League football as an ersatz religion, however, he has already arrived.

With scant regard for sanctity, internet forums this week hailed 'the Second Coming of Crist' — and no, the missing letter 'H' is not one of the appalling spelling errors that litter such websites.

The God to whom they refer is Cristiano Ronaldo, by many people's estimation — and certainly his own — the greatest player in the game's history, eclipsing even Pele, Maradona, Messi and all.