The cocks blew a come-from-behind win over South Carolina yesterday in the Granddaddy of Them All, the Outback Bowl, when Brandon Peters threw his second interception of the day late in the fourth quarter.
Somehow, Michigan losing remains as rewarding as the first time I huffed that fabled narcotic in elementary school.
However, it's a rare blessing for a Wolverine loss to bequeath a free Bloomin' Onion from Outback Steakhouse.
So despite pledging to lose ten pounds after a year of masquerading my body issues by ironically calling myself "thicc," I awoke Tuesday intent on ingesting an 800-calorie deep-fried appetizer and writing off the meal on my taxes.