Now that the lottery odds have been decided, P&T is in full cultic religion mode. Occasionally in the lead-up to the May 19th lottery, I will ask you to appease the basketball gods with me. Previously, we froze envelopes, sent letters to bad Knicks draft picks, and exploited the good fortune of mothers. Today, the ultimate tribute.
I have instructed you to slit the throat of a goat several times since P&T's inception. It's long been our strategy of basketball god-appeasement. At some point, there comes a time to reflect and realize what you've been doing isn't working.