In lieu of actually doing any writing about the looming season, please accept this very old commercial for the Detroit News Sports section. It features Bo Schembechler (and therefore counts as relevant for our purposes), and we have attempted to transcribe the lyrics below.
Sports sports sports sports sports sports sports
You’re into sports today
Like you’ve never been before
The Detroit News is the paper
The paper that gives you moooooooore
More sports news
That’s what you get
Greater sports news
Ahead of the rest
More sports news
The very best
The Detroit News
Now you’re talking
Now you’re talking
Sports