Pork: “Mid-energy meat but it’s got some pep. Positive animals. Ever heard someone say “sadder than a pig in shit?” You haven’t.”
Rabbit: “Just wrecks. You would be too if you were Nature’s perfect snackmeat, right down to the easy-rip wrapper.”
Duck: “Full of self-hatred! Untrustworthy waterfowl.”
Bear: “Anything that sleeps four months out of the year has to be depressed.”
Goose: “Honking is just another word for a cry for help!”
Goat: “Too relaxed to be great. Great attitude, though. Coachable.”
Turtle: “Turtle’s a cooling meat. Put five of them in a room and you won’t need AC.