[cold open: voiceover]
The 2015 season has reached a critical mass of chaos, and we know less after five weeks than we did after four. Is there a single true title contender? Are the preseason favorites good? Are the rising teams for real?
This is 4TH & SHORT: WEEK 5
[okay guys this is where we put in that flashy big-budget music video intro I was describing to you, just delete this text after you put it in]
I ALMOST CAUGHT A SQUIRREL TODAY
I have been trying to catch squirrels literally my entire life.