My writing lacks the creativity and polish to put together an appropriate lead in paragraph for this photo. So here:
Yes folks, that's the world biggest hipster and tandem bicycle / "twosie" enthusiast Taylor Lewan posing for a fraternity photo. I can't help but make the obvious connection between his Ogre like features and the fraternity's Tri-Lam like features. I'll also make it clear that when I went to Michigan, I had all the qualities of a Tri-Lam except intelligence and the ability to pleasure women.
Most overly invested Michigan fans are aware that Taylor frequently tools around campus on his self-proclaimed "twosie." If this whole football thing doesn't work out, he may want to look into modeling. Without the fraternity members in the background, this pic would be perfect for a Hollister summer catalogue shoot. The only snag would be he fitting into a Hollister XXL tank-top, which is equivalent to a children's medium at every other non-abercrombie brand store in the world.
I can't help but imagine a battle royale where these 40 fraternity members had to fight Taylor, potentially to the death. I imagine different outcomes depending on whether the combat was hand-to-hand, bow staff-to-bowstaff or WWF royal rumble style. Inevitably I think the smallish red haired fellow on far right gets thrown through and back out that front window. Ok, I'm weird.
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