College Football Fans and Their Ridiculous Tattoos

Oct 12, 2011

I know everyone grieves in different ways and this is why I’m wholeheartedly in favor of a Raiders fan getting a sweet Al Davis forearm tat. To be clear, I don’t care if it helps him get over Al’s passing, I just think that branding yourself with a large picture of your favorite football franchise’s owner is a great way to let the rest of society know that you’re unhinged. It’s a great warning sign for others stay away from you if they’re fond of having two working kidneys.

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NFL football fans and college football fans are alike in their thought that team sweatshirts and caps simply don’t go far enough in demonstrating team loyalty.  They go to equally unstable lengths to brand themselves in Michigan Maize, Spartan Green and Buckeye prison stripes.  Let’s take a look at some teams in the top 25 and see what their bat shit crazy fans have permanently written on their bodies.

#1 LSU  Tigers - Five extra points for the use of a calf-tat, which in the prison-ink heirarchy, is one notch below neck tat.

#2- Alabama Crimson Tide – I’m too worried about this guy tracking me down to poke fun at him.

#3 Oklahoma Sooners – I did not know the mailman from Cheers was a Sooner fan.  Chances the handicam was frequently used for dick pics = high.

#4 – Wisconsin Badgers - The hardest Wisconsin tat I could find:

#8 – Clemson Tigers – He might just be a huge fan of the Bengal tiger and a concerned earth citizen in regards to habitat desstruction, but I doubt it.

#9 Oregon Ducks - Could be a big Lord of the Rings Sauron fan, hard to tell

#10 Arkansas Razorbacks – I pray that this is temporary, or this isn’t his normal hair cut…but I know better

#11 Michigan Wolverines – Isn’t that too much hair for a shoulder? Also, does the masculinity of a football tattoo counteract the femininity of a rose tattoo?  Talk amongst yourselves.

#14 – Nebraska Cornhuskers - I’m under the impression that most Nebraskans actually look like this.  I was not under the impression that farmers always wore football cleats, but I’m pleasantly surprised they’re that interested in traction.

#17 – Kansas State WildcatsBill Snyder would definitely approve, he has this tattoo on his back. Also, based on the ring, someone married this person and they’re likely polluting the gene pool as we speak.

#18 – Arizona State Sun Devils

#22 – Texas Longhorns – Why is the longhorn on fire? Did the flames come before the longhorn and you tried to make it look a little less stupid with a UT logo? You can tell us.

#23 Michigan State Spartans – If he loses this weekend word is he’s going to get a block M tattooed where that young lady above has her longhorns.

#24 – Auburn Tigers – At first glance, this tattoo is obviously…awesome.  I’ve been waiting for years for men to take back the tramp stamp.  This visionary is the 2011 equivalent of a non-lesbian (assuming) Susan B. Anthony.

#27 – Notre Dame Fighting Irish – Not sure what to say here, these people are supposed to be smart.  Outside of the stupidity, at least JC would be proud.

#113 – Ohio State University – Keeping it classy everywhere they go.

One father, one son, two morons:

Can you imagine the reaction he’d get if he ever met Eddie George? Disgust? Why yes, probably.

…and the Art Schlichter Pure Class award goes to…

Promoting bestiality and human clothing on animals? For shame, Ohio. See Raider Nation, you’re not alone, it doesn’t make you less dumb, but at least you’re not alone

 

 



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