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William Hayes: The Rams traded me for office supplies

Get ready, Miami.

William Hayes is coming, and he’s a character.

There’s a reason Hard Knocks made him a star last summer, and it’s not just because he believes in mermaids.

His personality is as big as his game.

The latest example:

Hayes’ farewell Instagram message, in which he reflects on his trade to Miami.

Here’s how he opened:

“I got traded today for a stapler and a coffee machine,” Hayes said. “Life goes on though.”

Hayes went on to thank the Rams organization and its fans, name drop teammates he’ll miss and take a salty swipe at the Titans (or at least their supporters), with whom he spent the first four years of his career.