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Giants Win Baseball World Heavyweight Title Via Forfeit After Dodgers Fail to Appear

In the most bizarre development of the Baseball World Heavyweight Championship season, the Dodgers failed to appear for their title defense against the San Francisco Giants at AT&T Park. Their entrance music played three times, but the champs never emerged from behind the curtain. So, by virtue of a forfeit, the Giants become (sigh) the new Baseball World Heavyweight Champion.

Now, there's no possible way the Dodgers would fail to show up voluntarily, so something sinister must have happened. Maybe they were run over by a limo. Maybe they were kidnapped. We may never know. Hopefully, someone will locate them soon, so we can get some answers.