Back to the Iowa State Cyclones Newsfeed

SATIRE: Iowa State Fan Goes Entire Year Without Feeling Immeasurable Heartbreak

In what could be the first occurrence in the history of Iowa State fandom, a Cyclone supporter has successfully gone a full year without having their heart figuratively ripped out of their chest due to the result of an ISU football or basketball game.

Bill Bernard, 36, of Ankeny, Iowa is the first known human being to accomplish the incredible feat. WRNL staffers first heard of Bernard over a drunken conversation at the bar, in which friends of Bernard alerted us to his existence. We decided to send a writer to Ankeny to ask Bernard how he's pulled off such an unbelievable task.