A (fake) top 10 of the best (non-existent) lines from the University of Illinois's recruiting packet (not real) and head coach Lovie Smith (this is fake).
Earlier this week the University of Illinois made a splash by announcing the hiring of former Chicago Bears and Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach Lovie Smith as their head coach. The hire of Smith came shortly after the firing of Bill Cubit, the one-time interim coach who replaced known hick and bully Tim Beckman. Smith significantly raises the credibility of a football program that has only had five winning seasons in 20 years and has attendance comparable to a Legends Football League game.