The best job in English football has gone to the only man left in the world who still believes it is.
At least Sam Allardyce properly wanted it. Really, really, really wanted it. It's fair to say he was the only candidate interviewed already in possession of a St George's flag beach towel.
On his unveiling as the new manager of the England national side, he looked like Augustus Gloop on being given free rein of Willy Wonka's chocolate factory. Wide of eye and mouth, he couldn't have been happier had Phil Brown entered stage left dressed as an Oompa Loompa and declared himself his new assistant.