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English Medical Researchers Studying Astros Pitchers to Prove Existence of New Virus, Astrid 20

In a joint project with scientists located in the Astros’ “Nerd Cave,” England’s foremost medical research publication, The Glancet, is instigating a study of a possible new virus that seems to attack pitching arms.

World leading virologist, Hu Bang, is leading the team.

“What strikes me about this outbreak of arm trouble on the Astros is the rapid exponential rate of increase.” said Bang. ”It has all the hallmarks of a viral infection.”

It is believed that Lance McCullers may be the original vector of this career killing virus, first contracting the symptoms in late 2018.