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About those Five Dumb Reds Predictions

Back in April, I thought it wise to yell baseball words at my Ouija board until it told me something legible and turn it into an article about the upcoming Cincinnati Reds season. The idea was rooted in three major tenets:

1) Ouija boards are dumb

2) Making predictions about a full six months of baseball is rather dumb

3) Not being excited about the pending six full months of baseball is ignoramus-level dumb

Born from that were this year's Five Dumb Predictions for the Reds, postulations made based in part on statistical analysis, in part on gut instinct, and in larger part on the number of beers I'd had prior to writing them.