When my daughter was born, the doctor neglected to hand me the medical shears and just snipped the umbilicus herself. I didn’t really care in the moment because I had a beautiful baby girl and that was more important that our OB callously stealing that once-in-a-lifetime moment from me (just kidding, Dr. Linda, we’re cool). I wonder, though, whether the event somehow caused a measure of subconscious trauma that led to my steadfast devotion to cable/satellite television. When it comes to my viewing habits, I’m just unable to cut the cord.
Even though I complain frequently about the quality and reliability of the service, I just keep sticking by [insert provider] because I want to make sure I get all my sports.