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A Q&A with the Buffalo Bills sideline reporter

Is it possible that Sal Capaccio is the figurehead of a widespread government surveillance program?

Before you start fitting me for a tin foil hat, hear me out. Capaccio speaks to us at all hours of the day and night from our radios, televisions, phones, and assorted miscellaneous wireless devices. He regularly leaves notes for us on social media and select websites that can be accessed 24/7/365. His face inevitably pops up in photos of almost every major sporting event in town. Ask yourself this: Did you buy a hot dog at Ted’s today because you were actually hungry, or did you buy a hot dog at Ted’s because Sal Capaccio told you to?