Scrum down, folks. Bind on tight. It’s time to shove them back. It’s time for every rugby-loving person in this country to come together in lock-tight defence of one of the greatest sports ever invented.
If we keep going like this, the vast army of finger-wagging, cigar-snatching, mask-wearing, Covid-maddened health and safety fanatics is going to keep pushing us back, our boots skidding in the mud, until they have driven the oval ball right off the national pitch.
Rugby seems to be retreating everywhere, with the number of adult players down from more than 250,000 in 2016 to fewer than 100,000 today.