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Want to go to a Giants game, but as a cutout? Say no more ...

The San Francisco Giants will have 30 home games this season. They’ll have 30 beautiful days of baseball inside a flawlessly-designed ballpark, perfect for the faithful fans to feast their eyes on.

The cardboard* fans, that is.

* not actually cardboard

As you’re likely well aware, the coronavirus pandemic is keeping fans from being able to attend MLB games this year. But the Giants found a loophole in the law: Fans are still legally allowed, just as long as they’re not living, breathing fans. Aha!

And so the Giants are doing what every lonely person trying to pretend they have lots of friends has done at their birthday: They’re calling in the cardboard**.