MONEY FOR NOTHING—AND THE PICKS FOR FREE—WITH TWO FROM THE WHITE ALBUM…

 

“The Walrus was Paul,” might be one of my favorite John Lennon lines as a Beatle ever.

I start with that instead of my piss-poor performance last week, because…if I need go further in depth for you, just read the former half of this sentence, and then, fill in your own latter.

This columnist went 4-11-1 overall last week, and 1-3-1 here, so all of my yearly totals went south with one weekend of bad selections. I’m trying, but .500 for every-single-game against-the-number looks impossible at 94-106-5; however, for the fine people at ChatSports, I’m 37-30-3, so not everything in my prognosticating existence is bleak.

Kansas City @ Oakland (-3). Talk about two teams that are hard to pin down and figure out. The Raiders and the Chiefs have had their fair-share of ups-and-downs, and neither has had much success ATS, or SU for that matter. Bonus points for the Chiefs wining in New Orleans, as well as the Raiders besting the Steelers, but both these for-instances appear to be ancient history, so I’ll just go with the home team. Call it bad gambler’s logic, yet I’d rather be lucky than good…Even if I don’t believe in luck—unless, as according to Sinatra, it comes in the form of a fine young lady.

Washington (-1) @ Cleveland. This is one of the most intriguing games of Week 15 in the National Football League. Both of these teams are building for the coming years, yet they each find themselves in tough divisions. The Browns’ division is indeed harder a climb to the top, but the ‘Skins can’t exactly say theirs will be any easier. Both got young quarterbacks, but the Redskins got a much-more-seasoned head coach—with rings—plural—so take the close-to-sure thing in this instance. Or, you could just watch interesting American Football, and then wait for the later games to get real serious.

Denver (-2 ½) @ Baltimore. The Broncos/Raiders game was the only one that I got right last week, and this matchup makes me equally as confident in my selection. The Ravens are good, no one can argue against that, yet the people of Denver have reason to be thinking a deep play-off run with these Broncos. QBs aside (and I know this might be tough, but stay with me), the team flying nearly across country can play looser and make hay away from home on both sides of the ball. And the turf in Maryland only makes their pass rush scarier. Lay the points, a common theme of this column, as well as the majority of my picks this particular week, and hope for the law of averages to hold out.

Pittsburgh (-1) @ Dallas. Looking at common opponents, one thing jumps out at me in this contest: The Steelers covered each game against the Baltimore Ravens, and they didn’t even have their starting quarterback; the Ravens, however, when they hosted Big D, couldn’t cover. This means that the Steelers can hand this Cowgirls team on big L with such a small number. Dallas had a nice win on the road last week, but if you’ve ever read this column before (and I hope you have), an over-confident Dallas Cowboys team spells disaster for the boys in blue. The Steelers win this thing with classic Steelers football—lots of defense, timely scoring and running the football. Lay the points bettors; you’ll be glad you did.

San Francisco (+5) @ New England. This may look like I haven’t learned my lesson from last week—and you might be right—but for right now, the Patriots are not as good of a cover team as the 49ers. Sorry…But that one’s inarguable. Both these ball clubs are coming into their own, which is the main reason why NBC is touting this as a Stupor Bowl preview, for it very well could be. Every time it looks like there’s nothing left for these two super-powers to improve on, they somehow go back to the lab and get even more dangerous, as opposed to teams like the Texans and Falcons that appear stagnant, or maybe even getting worse, and therefore fading. But no matter how you phrase this one: Go with the better cover team. San Fran may not even win, because this one looks like a field goal will win it.

 

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