MONEY FOR NOTHING—AND THE PICKS FOR FREE—WITH A WESTERN

 

I’ll give you the scene that leads to that one at the end, for I’ve seen “Tombstone” so many times that it doesn’t have a beginning and an end like most films; it just lives inside me—ignorant of something as trivial as time.

Anyway: last week this writer went 7-8-1 overall, 2-2-1 in this column, bringing my year-long totals to 82-88-3 and 34-25-1.

Cleveland @ Oakland (-1 ½). The Browns got something like seven turnovers—seven!—and still only won by six points last week; that’s unfathomable. Sure they covered the spread, and therefore I got it right, but the point is that this isn’t Ohio. This is Oakland. The Raiders take this game, cover the spread and make the better city by the bay very happy. Period.

Indianapolis (+4 ½) @ Detroit. The NFL is about matchups, and for that I’d like to thank the American Football entity known as the National Football League. The Lions are historically good on Thanksgiving, but the following week, they have their worst week of the season. Don’t try and understand it; it just happens more often than not—which is a valid enough reason to place a bet.

Carolina @ Kansas City (+2 ½). The Carolina Panthers are going into the lion’s den in this spot. You can say what you want about dysfunction in KC, yet they’ve covered a ton of games this year. The Chiefs have covered the spread in three-of-their-last-four contests, including a trip to Pittsburgh, on Monday Night Football in front of the World.

San Francisco (-7) @ Saint Louis. The last time these two played it took over an hour of football; and I think “Tombstone” was technically shorter than the duration of that divisional battle. To get back to the point, the Forty Niners don’t even look like an NFL team any more, for they’re a college team: everyone having a good time all the time. The Rams are decent—with a capital D—but they can’t pull a rabbit out of their hat once again; it’s too soon, too fresh, too…Where was I? That’s right, the other team by the bay. Talk about funny. This is funny: blue collar coach walks into one of the bluest (meaning liberal) cities in these United States and flips their entire world one their collective composting heads. Sorry—couldn’t resist.

Tampa Bay @ Denver (-8). The number eight looks a-lot-like the symbol for infinity, doesn’t it? That’s how I feel about the Denver Broncos right now. No one in their right mind could tell you what they’re going to do, and that’s fascinating. I can’t think of when that ever happened. (Maybe a certain 49ers quarterback? Maybe…) A team from Florida going to the Rockies does not bode well; therefore, lay the points and sleep well on Sunday night. Or watch the Eggles lose again…

Time for more “Tombstone”…

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