MONEY FOR NOTHING—AND THE PICKS FOR FREE

You get humbled fast picking games—against the spread—during the NFL Season’s duration.

This columnist was riding on his high horse, only to be knocked back down to planet earth when I forgot to pick the Thursday Night Football contest last week. But no more missing picking games: Never again.

[caption id="attachment_46" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Photo Credit: Kent Porter/AP "]Occupy Oakland[/caption]

The record of this writer stands at 101-83-7 against the number in the NFL for the season, going 9-6 last week; and with the playoffs rapidly approaching, the picks this way cometh.

Oakland (+11 ½) @ Green Bay leads this piece of journalistic jargon because the other city by the bay (have you seen any tape of Occupy Oakland?; anybody?) is humming. The money is flowing away from Green Bay, in the gambler’s logic, for they have not been covering the spread a lot lately. After the bye: Cover; Cover; Nope; Cover; Nope. The lines are ballooning and mushrooming for the Green Bay Packers, and someone creating a sportsbook has noticed, yet the oddsmakers forgot someone. Moi. Take the Raiders, and then count the currency; just watch out for Raider fans. (They’re great people, but they can be crazy on game day—the good kind of crazy.)

Cleveland @ Pittsburgh (-14 ½) keeps the ball rolling, and this little ball will flatten the Browns; frowns all around for Cleveland; sorry. No worries here folks, just making money.

The quarterback for the Carolina Panthers is now history: Literally. Carolina has one of the most interesting stories, as a narrative, on the pages of NFL history, and they just started covering games ad nauseam. Atlanta @ Carolina (+3), therefore, is my third selection, and like the Carolina rushing attack—and every other running team that keeps rolling thunder over all opponents—the Panthers shall score early but often, via air, via ground, via sky (pass/rush/field goal). All the time.

Da Bears. Get in the old-school SNL whenever you can, am I right? They’re hurting, and their opponents aren’t at fault. Loses to the Chiefs, and the Raiders before that, but they did beat the AFC West’s worst, the Chargers. But Da Bears are reeling. Chicago @ Denver (-3 ½) because one of these weeks Denver will play four quarters of insane football, and then, when it happens, watch the world fall off its axis.

Monday Night Football in Seattle. Washington. On a Monday night. The Twelfth Man. St. Louis @ Seattle (-4 ½). Enough said.

Let’s shake off the rain and enjoy the bread you’ve just received—picks for free—over-easy eggs optional. Bonne appetite.

Back to the Oakland Raiders Newsfeed