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NORTHWESTERN NEEDS TO HACK THE REST OF THE BIG TEN

So there’s this thing called the internet, right?

It’s super confusing, but basically, it’s a series of tubes. You send information through these tubes and eventually, if you put the right things in the right tubes, you can get electronic mail, talk to people 140 characters at a time, or watch porn. Whatever floats your boat.

But sometimes, people take things out of the tubes before they’re supposed to by, I guess, pressing buttons in the right order. This is called "hacking." Which is "illegal." Which is crap.

Hacking goes on basically all the time by basically everyone.