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TAKE MY MONEY: YOUR GUIDE TO BETTING ON WEEK 8 OF COLLEGE FOOTBALL

Yo ho ho, what’s this?! Another installment of BENNY BETS for lunch you say? No one asked for this you mumble to yourself? Why do I waste my time with this every week? you subtweet off into the stratosphere.

I’ll tell you why. Because I made you money last week (don’t worry about the weeks prior) and this is your only reliable source of income now that you’ve reached the point where your entire paycheck goes to your employer, assuming your employer is either 1. A liquor store 2. A strip club or iii. Culver’s. So here I am, once again to save you from crippling depression and debt to a strip club bouncer.