We're back again with a very spooky edition of Look 'Hoos Tweeting. The football team took to the purple shadows of the Lawn on Monday for the age old tradition of handing out candy to all of the Charlottesville children that come to the University for Halloween. Speaking of tricks or treats, Kevin Parks was the on the 'short' end of some jokes while Tim Smith had some jokes of his own for his loyal followers this week. Let's get to it...
1. @Royal_Flush82 (Wide Receiver Kevin Royal) handing out hot chocolate packets and popcorn on the lawn hahaha
[caption id="attachment_623" align="alignright" width="224" caption=" Cavalier football players hand out popcorn on the Lawn. "]
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Handing out candy to the local kids on the Lawn has to be one of my favorite traditions at UVA. The smell of burning wood is in the air, the trees are a festive mix of Fall's best colors and it's the one true time of year where the students mix with the locals on Grounds. Of course, I'm sure these kids come to the Lawn expecting candy - so what's up with the popcorn and hot chocolate packets? Kids have no trouble getting their hands on these items...hell, parents these days give their children popcorn as a 'healthy' snack alternative. Step up your candy game guys, don't kill this tradition for all of those that love it! [In all honesty, it's nice to see the guys giving back like this]
2. Unfortunately, it seems that the lack of candy giving didn't only apply to the players helping out on the Lawn Monday night...
@Cavboi81 (Tight End Jay Mathis) I sure hope no lil kids come knocking on 11B lookin for candy...cuz they feelings will be straight hurt...#AintGotNoCandy
Does Coach London need to hold a team meeting on the do's and don'ts of Halloween? I mean it's a pretty simple concept: 1. Kids dress up 2. Kids knock on door 3. Adults give the kids candy 4. Kids go home, eat candy and barf. What is so hard about any of that? If you were taking notes here, the adults have it easy! The one 'do' is handing out candy. The one 'don't' is, well, not having any candy. It's really not that hard, guys.
[caption id="attachment_624" align="alignright" width="223" caption="Mr. Carter"]
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3. Sticking in the festive Halloween mood...my vote for the two best costumes of the year go to the young tykes featured in the tweets of UVA football players Brandon Phelps and EJ Scott.
@RealBPhelps (Cornerback Brandon Phelps) LMAO!!!!! [See Pic]
How that's a costume! 'lil Wayne down to the tats and everything. I appreciate such fine attention to detail and I bet the neighborhood girls did too. I can't quiet tell, but it appears he has a shiny grill upstairs as well. Even so, I'd wager his English was easier to understand than his real-life counterpart.
@EarlScott84 (Wide Receiver EJ Scott) Smh this is terrible [See Pic]
[caption id="attachment_625" align="alignright" width="300" caption="Trick...or...treat?"]
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LOL! It may be terrible, but it sure is hilarious. Why any parent in their right mind would let their child walk around in this costume is beyond me. Can you imagine if a little Trojan condom came up to your door asking for candy? That's the kid you give the popcorn to as he certainly doesn't need anything else to entice the ladies with. At least he's learning a very important lesson early in life - always use protection kids!
4. @kburd18 (Wide Receiver Kris Burd) This guy @multimili (Fullback Max Milien) just said all he wants to eat for dinner tonight is a candy apple! Lmao #cmonson
One last Halloween-themed Tweet for this week courtesy of Kris Burd. So you want a candy apple, Max? Let me get this straight, while his teammates are dishing out popcorn and hurt feelings to little kids, Max is over here trying to score the ultimate in Halloween treats? #cmonson indeed!
[caption id="attachment_626" align="alignright" width="120" caption="Coming to a Twitter near you!"]
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5. A question that I'm sure is on the mind of everyone who reads these articles...when will Assane Sene get a Twitter account? If you don't know, Sene is quite the comedian and has contributed more than his fair share of memorable sound bytes to the media during his tenure at UVA. Well, there appears to be a campaign to get the big guy on Twitter by Senior forward Mike Scott.
@MScottuva23 (Forward Mike Scott) I'm going to make Assane Sene a twitter!!!! lol
Perhaps there is hope after all! The rest of your teammates have joined the dark side, so come on over Assane! We need ya, big guy. Of course, when reading Sene's tweets you would have to imagine them being said in the accent of Dikembe Mutombo to really get the full effect.
6. In what could almost be a weekly installment in and of itself, up next are a pair of tweets aimed toward the opposite sex from some of our favorite football tweeters.
@Cavboi81 (Jay Mathis) If my mom don't like you...why would I keep talkin to you!?#DontmakeSenseShawty
Finally Jay gives some sage relationship advice. If momma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy - that's the truth. And this couldn't apply more to any one thing in a man's life than his choice in women. Gents, you are going to get nagged by your wife...it's just a fact of life (unless you are me of course...Hi dear!). So why make things harder and get nagged by your mother everyday because she doesn't like wife? Obviously it's most important that you like her, but do yourselves a favor and make sure momma likes her too.
[caption id="attachment_627" align="alignright" width="161" caption="Do your chores!"]
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@tim_smith20 (Tim Smith) Its funny when females try to tell u what to do! Oh so you my mother now oh iight #Nice Try
Oh, Tim. Tim, Tim, Tim. If you missed the memo, getting told what to do by the women in our life is a fact of life (unless, of course, you are me...juuuuust kidding darling). It's not that your girlfriend thinks she's your mother, it's just part of who a woman is - she is trying to help you (or so I've been told). I used to fight it, so I can't blame ya. You'll learn one day. I gotta go put the dishes away now.
7. As previously mentioned, Kevin Parks was on the 'short' end of some jokes yet again this week courtesy of his large pal Morgan Moses and fellow freshman Ant Harris.
[caption id="attachment_628" align="alignright" width="194" caption="Who's taller now big Mo?"]
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@MORGANMOSES_78 (Tackle Morgan Moses) its crazy how me and @RealKevinParks are the same height when im on one knee
@hoosdatdude_28 (Safety Anthony Harris) S/O to @RealKevinParks for breaking the #UVA record-shortest running back to score in UVA history hahaha
I'll admit, I laughed - both times. I'll also admit I'm shocked to hear Morgan and KP are the same height when Moses takes a knee...I figured he's still have him by a couple of inches. Despite his small stature, however, KP is a beast on the field and I can't wait to see him break the UVA freshman rushing TD record against Maryland this week. It ain't the size of the dog in the fight...
8. If you haven't noticed, UVA is only one win away from bowl eligibility with 4 ACC games remaining on the schedule...something that has eluded the Cavaliers since the 2007 season. Unfortunately, November wins have also eluded the Virginia football team since the 2007 season. Obviously, something needs to change. Well, I'm here to tell you that receiver Tim Smith is on to something!
[caption id="attachment_632" align="alignright" width="245" caption="Fear the Beard!"]
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@tim_smith20 (Tim Smith) No Shave November? Yea I'm with it
Playoff beards! Of course! What better way to get over the hump than to grow some self-inspiring facial hair that cannot be cut until UVA is placed in a bowl game? I'd be glad to join myself, but I can only grow about 3 beard hairs so I don't know that it would matter too much. #noshavenovember
9. @CMINNI13 (Chase Minnifield) If you only with us when we WIN then we don't want ya...#UVAFootball
Speaking of the UVA football team, Chase Minnifield's words following UVA's thrilling victory over Miami last Thursday could not ring any more true. The last several years have been very trying for avid UVA fans, but the ones that have remained true to the team are undoubtedly the ones getting the greatest pleasure out of watching Coach London and his staff rebuild UVA into a winning program. Wahoowa.
10. @Cavboi81 (Jay Mathis) Yo who got a bandanna for ya boy...i know one of my black nubian queen followers got one..yall be wrapin yalls hair like leftovers lmao
There it is! These are the kind of Tweets that have been missing the last couple of weeks. Pure comedy here from one of our favorites in Jay Mathis. All that's missing is a couple of yo momma jokes...
[caption id="attachment_629" align="alignright" width="225" caption="Yo momma!"]
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11. Ask and you shall receive! Lucky for us, Tim Smith wanted to try his hand at comedy this week and went hard on Twitter with the 'yo momma so stupid jokes'. Let's see what he's got:
@tim_smith20 (Receiver Tim Smith) yo momma so stupid she brought a spoon to the superbowl
@tim_smith20 (Receiver Tim Smith) yo momma so stupid she went to the dentist for a bluetooth
@tim_smith20 (Receiver Tim Smith) yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview
@tim_smith20 (Receiver Tim Smith) yo momma so stupid she put lipstick on her head to make up her mind
Meh...not bad Tim, not bad [slow clap]. They definitely progressed as they went along and I got a few good chuckles out of them. Of course, you forgot my favorite: yo momma so stupid she tried to put her m&ms in alphabetical order. BAM! Now that's a joke. See ya next week, folks!