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Carson Fulmer Signs With White Sox

...and we salute him for it.

Tyler Ferguson wasn't the only Commodore to start his career in professional baseball today. Carson "The Florida Flamethrower" Fulmer just inked a deal with the Chicago White Socks for a full slot bonus of $3,470,600.

.@whitesox sign 1st-round pick (#8 overall) Carson Fulmer for $3,470,600 (full slot). Tracker: http://t.co/9InbCotXI0 pic.twitter.com/xfGkQJtUp5

— MLB Pipeline (@MLBPipeline) July 3, 2015

I told myself I wasn't going to cry...

...and so I won't. I also won't be writing an elegy of the likes of "The Rime of the Ancient Flamethrower.