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Free Baseball Isn't Free: Mets 9, Phillies 5

Watch the Ken Burns documentary and you'll hear about 29 different writers, players, and announcers wax poetic about how the absence of a clock in baseball frees the game from the constraints of time and the imposition of a limit. A baseball game could theoretically go on forever, they'll tell you, as if that were a thing to be celebrated.

But who really wants a game to go on forever? That would kind of suck, wouldn't it? You certainly couldn't watch it all. You'd get whatever the sofa equivalent of bed sores are and would require a partner or a good friend to rotate you every couple inning to avoid the onset of a rash.