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THE MC IS YOUR GUIDE TO ALTERNATIVE WAGERING

There's plenty of evidence to show that gambling on the Heisman Trophy is a graphically stupid thing to do. Some people may find it distasteful to place monetary wagers on amateur scholar-athlete-warrior-poets who play exclusively for the love of the game. Some people may just not like gambling for any variety of perfectly valid reason.

Me? I avoid gambling not because I don't like it. OH NO NO, I do. I just know that I like it a bit too much, and would like to make sure I can afford my bills every month instead of flushing that cash down the toilet on GOD DAMN IT OKLAHOMA YOU WERE GETTING 3.