It kills me to say that the Buckeyes of Ohio have owned the Michigan Wolverine football teams for the past decade. The first reason is because I hate Ohio. I hate the entire state. When I head south for vacations, driving through that God forsaken state at 60 mph is by far the most tragically torturous part of the trip. I prefer not to be around the people, which I think goes without saying. I hate the city of Columbus. I don’t think it’s possible to live there without an undisciplined addiction to ridiculous tattoos and an unchecked appetite for the same world’s best chicken wings which are served at 50 different restaurants in the same 25 mile radius. Columbus has the cultural diversity of the Westboro Baptist Church. I hate their stupid mascot. I hate their fairy princess glittery helmets. I hate sweater vests. I hate movies by Adam Sandler, who bears an astonishing resemblance to Luke Fickel., whom I hate. The fans… oh the fans! The Buckeye fans are the most despicable people on the planet. They lack any and all cognitive ability to think critically. They have a blind devotion to that horrible school which is almost cult like in nature. The bucknuts have completely disowned Kirk Herbstreit because he is too objective. Let’s face it; nearly the entire identity of the university is defined by nothing more than the football program, academics accounting for just a small fraction. The school is the antithesis of the University of Michigan, to say the least.
The second reason why it kills me to say that Ohio has owned the Wolverines is because it is completely false. Ohio hasn’t owned the Wolverines over the past decade. Jim Tressel has and I couldn’t be more enthused that his cowardly and cheating ways have finally come to light. The fans of that wretched school will try to make excuses; every school has these issues, it was the player’s property and they should be able to sell it, Jim Tressel was just trying to protect his players, are some of the most popular and equally fallacious. Every school does not have these issues. Michigan doesn’t. I know Michigan football players aren’t getting cars from dealerships because I’ve seen, first hand, nearly every first string player riding the public buses to and from class. The players were given their awards under the pretense that they could not sell them until they were no longer members of the team, so property rights don’t apply. If Tressel was trying to protect his players, then why didn’t he ever try to put a stop to the rule breaking? He never once confronted any player regarding his adherence to NCAA rules and regulations. Tressel could have put a stop to it as soon as he found out about it. He didn’t. Tressel knew what was going on, he permitted it, and he hid the evidence from the NCAA. Why? Because nothing is more important than winning. The players aren’t more important. The coaches aren’t more important. The integrity of the program isn’t more important. The worst excuse of all though has to be, it didn’t provide the team with a strategic advantage. Really? And I’m sure over-signing in the SEC doesn’t provide them with a strategic advantage either, but that is a topic for another blog. The sheer absurdity of this comment confirms that all of my spite towards Ohio is justified. Jim Tressel surely used the established relationship with boosters as a recruiting tool. Often, players will give prospective recruits tours of the campus during official visits. There is no doubt in my mind that players took those recruits to multiple player hangouts where they were showered with gifts and praise. If that doesn’t influence recruiting, I don’t know what will. I’m sure it had quite the influence on the clearly attention starved prospect, Terrelle Pryor.
So why am I telling you all of this? Because this is the first time in a decade that I have been so confident that a Michigan victory over Ohio is on the horizon, that I am willing to official put myself out there. I am not afraid to voice my true feelings about that repugnant school down south because I am convinced that Michigan can’t lose next Saturday. In fact, I would be shocked if it wasn’t an utter blowout. I want to vent all of my frustrations in this blog because, come Saturday, the Michigan football team is going to vent their frustrations on the field. How can I know this will come to fruition? All questions will be answered in my next blog.
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