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Royals 9 - Astros 6: It's My Recap and I'll Cry if I Want to.

Dear Fellow Astros Fans who have, for whatever reasons, entered this thread after the Astros' historically epic late-inning collapse today at the capable and very clutch hands of the Royals:

What are you doing here?

Or, more precisely, what is it you are looking for? Something detailed that will allow us to get to the bottom of this crime scene? Something soothing to heal your wounds? Something scorching, to match your still fire-hot ire at the bullpen and Hinch? Something hopeful to keep your hopes alive? Something existential to put it all into perspective? Something funny because laughter is the best medicine?