I have always enjoyed the thought of a great cat fight… in my mind. Thoughts of two beautiful women pulling each others hair because they want to be with ME. What male, in his right mind, wouldn’t want to see that?
And then you turn 13. The truth of the matter and more than likely the way the “cat fight” scenario plays out in real life is much different. Let me give you a few of my, in what they say in the TV world, alternative endings.
Scenario 1. Both women batter and bruise each other to a point that when you try to break it up and a hint of a smile appears on your face. That woman to woman affair just became the mud wrestling scene from the movie Stripes. A series of kicks to the groin later what you conceived as fantasy now in reality has your male parts hiding from you like an abducted child in a closet.
Scenario 2. Say the woman you really did not want to wins the tet de meow. Now you have a woman that will remind you how far she went for your affection. Do I need to link the “boiling rabbit scene” from Fatal Attraction?
In the end. The fantasy far exceeds the reality unless these are not women nor animal. If these ‘kitties’ are two felines that can scratch and claw and maim as much as the Referee will allow. These Lions and Panthers won’t fight in mud and I’m pretty sure they will not turn against the fans and maul them. Why would National Geographic need a game pass?
But if the Detroit Lions aren’t careful this Sunday against the Carolina Panthers many of the Lions faithful will begin to wish this cat fight was between Kim Kardashian and Paula Patton.
Game Prediction: Lions 24 Panthers 9
Weather: Indoors. The Lions play on field turf more so the obvious conclusion can be made right? WRONG. I’ve seen Cam Newton play at the Georgia Dome during the SEC championship game. He looked pretty good and that was before he could throw accurately.
Line: -7/ O/U 47.5. 2nd highest over under of this weekends remaining slate of games. Normally I would run for the over but A. I’m not sure if Stafford can throw with his injured hand. B. I believe the game will ‘muc’ up and play a lot slower than we had hoped it would 3 weeks ago. The Lions will cover the spread but pair the bet in a parlay to maximize your value. The Panther are also 0-3 on the road this season if that makes you feel better.
Match Up of the Game: Suh vs. Newton. Although both men will be separated by the Center you can bet the television cameras will show us Ndamukong staring intently into Cameron’s chest. You talk about a real life Tom & Jerry episode?!?!
Players to Watch from Panthers: Steve Smith, Johnathan Stewart, Greg Olsen, Chris Gamble, Dan Connor, James Anderson, and “Lieutenant” excuse me Captain Munnerlyn. Talk about a parent selling a kid short?
Big Lion’s Offensive Play will happen if: Chris Gamble goes into press coverage against Megatron and the Lions give Stafford enough time to “pump fake” the gambling cornerback.
Big Lion’s Defensive Play will happen if: Suh gets his paws on Cam Newton and Wrestle Mania breaks out between them causing an errant pass that is intercepted by Chris Houston and returned for his 3rd TD of the season.
CAT FIGHT FANTASY PICK: Paula Patton. RUFF RUFF!